so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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