You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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