Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
