she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i out mim tonsoeep
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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