cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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