Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
