had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
