Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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