i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
