It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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