She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
