so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
