But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
