Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
