I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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