So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
