All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
