First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
