What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize