Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
