We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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