help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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