this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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