wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
