her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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