I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Two words: blizzard sex
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
