Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
