no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
