My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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