She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
