I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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