i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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