i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
