Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
