operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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