I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
