I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
