I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
