I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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