My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
