I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
