Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize