just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
