she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
