just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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