and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
