"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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