You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
