i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
tell me about the eggs
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
