and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
