White coat. Heels.
I cockslap morals
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
