You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
