I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize