drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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