I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
