I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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