i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize