The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
sex in a hospital.. check
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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