I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
there is glitter all over my balls
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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