I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You may now shotgun with the bride
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
