I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
