drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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