Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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