They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize