He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
