i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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