i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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