"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
