She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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